I just returned from attending the Prevent Child Abuse America conference in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  Attendees came from as far away as Japan, looking for understanding of the root causes of child abuse, physical, emotional and sexual; looking for guidance to implement programs that have been successful at the local scale in scattered communities across the United States. 

The root causes of child abuse range from poverty to mental illness to perpetuating learned behavior.  The successful solutions I had the privilege to learn about included a marketing program called Enough (as in enough abuse, enough secrecy) in Portland, Oregon, a Crisis nursery in the Cleveland area that temporarily takes in a child or all the children in a family when the family has a crisis that would otherwise necessitate turning the children over to a foster or child welfare program, an adult mental wellness program in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, that recognizes that 97% of child abuse cases can be linked to an adult with mental illness that ranges from anxiety disorders to manic or delusional behavior, and a Fatherhood program that sends male father advocates out with the traditional female parent educator, understanding that a father will feel more comfortable actively participating in a program that recognizes the mother, father, and children together as a family rather than placing prime consideration on the mother/child relationship. 

Each of these programs recognizes that they are just a piece of the puzzle and that all pieces are necessary in the attempt to educate parents and children about the chain of abuse and the alternate choices they have.  The people involved understand that parents need to be educated about things as simple as how to take the bus, how to look for a job, how to manage their lives in addition to the parenting classes.  To break the chain, children need to be taught how to be compassionate parents, especially if they have no prior example of what compassion looks and feels like.  It is up to each one of us to model to every child that crosses our path, how they should behave.  If we yell at them, shame them, hit them, that is what the children will do to others.  If we care for them, nurture them, love them, they will in turn care for, nurture, and love the children that come into their lives.

Closely examine your behavior, attitudes, actions, feelings, and words?  Are they a worthy example to the children in your life?  Would you like the children in your life to copy you; to be exactly like you?  If there are aspects of yourself that you would change, choose to change them beginning today, so that you can be that role model; so that you can show all the children how to be.