Your Honey & Your Money
- By Leslie Gleen
- Published 09/5/2008
Leslie Gleen
Born July 16,1975 in southern California, I attended college at Riverside Community College for two years, majoring in political science, and then transfering to University of California Riverside double majoring in political science and Business marketing. I am married with four children, and work a full time job as a personal banker.
Celebrity couples seem to have it all when it comes to the finances. Angelina, I'm sure, has not had an arguement with Brad Pitt on whether or not he can buy a new car, or new golf set, or new anything for that matter, so it seems that the conversation of budget really hits home for the average folk.
Avearge folk like myself, where even the implication that one of you is telling the other where, how, and when to spend is grounds for a throw down resulting in one party making other sleeping arrangements. Usually the husband. So, what is it about that topic? It's one of the nine causes leading to divorce. Why? Is it really about the money? Divorce attorneys, and psychologists say no. The consensus is the root cause is really control. That regardless of how much or how little you have, if there is no balance of power there is bound to be turmoil. And why are there money problems? Simply poor management of it.
I thought about that long and hard, and I said to myself, 'that's exactly right.' He doesn't want to be told what to do as
if he was a child, and I certainly don't either. Does that bring us to an impasse? Are we destined to walk divorce lane? Not if we don't want to. Now, for myself, I did't have the opportunity to read on how to fix my situation, and definately not the money to see a good shrink. If you have the time or resorces to do either, and your marriage is in real trouble, take that help, but otherwise I have a few tips that might help if you haven't done so already:
1)Have three checking accounts. Yours, your spouses, and the joint. The joint is obviously for your bills, then you each have your own account to spend with, when it's gone, then it's gone. 2)If one of you is the spender, have the other show you the budget, then make the spender do the budgeting and the bill paying with you. If they can see it, they can believe it. Just how fast it goes that is. 3) Be sure to celebrate together. When she has postponed buying those manolo's, and he has overlooked the new ping driver, pat each other on the back, take time for yourselves. This reminds you both that you're on the same team, and working towards the same goal, not adversaries struggling to maintain the power.
Avearge folk like myself, where even the implication that one of you is telling the other where, how, and when to spend is grounds for a throw down resulting in one party making other sleeping arrangements. Usually the husband. So, what is it about that topic? It's one of the nine causes leading to divorce. Why? Is it really about the money? Divorce attorneys, and psychologists say no. The consensus is the root cause is really control. That regardless of how much or how little you have, if there is no balance of power there is bound to be turmoil. And why are there money problems? Simply poor management of it.
I thought about that long and hard, and I said to myself, 'that's exactly right.' He doesn't want to be told what to do as
1)Have three checking accounts. Yours, your spouses, and the joint. The joint is obviously for your bills, then you each have your own account to spend with, when it's gone, then it's gone. 2)If one of you is the spender, have the other show you the budget, then make the spender do the budgeting and the bill paying with you. If they can see it, they can believe it. Just how fast it goes that is. 3) Be sure to celebrate together. When she has postponed buying those manolo's, and he has overlooked the new ping driver, pat each other on the back, take time for yourselves. This reminds you both that you're on the same team, and working towards the same goal, not adversaries struggling to maintain the power.
